Self-Injury: Finding Hope for Those Who Hurt Themselves
Self-injury is a complex, often long-term problem and a sign of acute psychological distress. However, a person can heal from self-injury if he or she seeks help. A self-injurer is not evil or crazy and needs not to be treated as a pariah.
It is difficult for most people to understand why someone would deliberately harm themselves, however, paradoxically, self-injury is often a way for a self-injurious person to help themselves, at least in their perception. It is a way to get relief from pain, not a way to commit suicide. Because the self-injury creates a temporary rush of endorphins through their body, it decreases anxiety & produces pain relief. This relief then becomes self-soothing, habituating the behavior, so the self-injury continues.
There are hundreds of ways to harm one’s own body and it’s often as if the self-injuring person is at war with themselves. Most people who self-injure endure a lot of shame about their behavior, but it’s usually the only way they know how to cope with their pain. Without treatment, the behavior can become very dangerous and lead to a vicious self-destructive cycle (which may accidentally lead to suicide). Finding a qualified therapist to help a person recover is essential and eliciting the help and support of friends and family is also imperative.

Signs & Symptoms of Self-Injury

♥ Unexplained frequent injuries (e.g. cuts, scratches, burns, bruising, hair pulling, & scab picking)
♥ Excuses about discovered wounds/scars (e.g. “the cat scratched me”)
♥ Wearing clothing inappropriate for the season/weather (e.g. long sleeves in the summer)
♥ Worry expressed by friends
♥ Increased Isolation
♥ Anxiety or Depression

How You Can Help a Loved One

♥ Don’t take it personally—it’s not about you. You may find it scary & disgusting, but it’s not done to manipulate you
♥ Never set ultimatums—they don’t work. Ultimatums punish, shame, & create increased anger & self-hatred
♥ Encourage and model expression of feelings—make it safe to express sadness, hopelessness, & anger
♥ Support the person without supporting/enabling the behaviors—be genuinely loving & caring for the person regardless of the self-injury. Reach out & seek to understand.
♥ Offer help to find a therapist

How a Therapist can help

♥ To identify triggers to self-injury
♥ Identify feelings & thoughts prior to injurious behavior
♥ Identify patterns to self-injury & work to break those patterns
♥ Help discover new healthier coping skills
♥ Teach relaxation techniques
♥ Identify, explore & process any traumatic events that may have occurred

I hope this has given you a little better understanding of self-injury and the issues involved with it. I most hope that it has given you a little more hope in being able to heal from it.



Deep Canyon Counseling
44-775 Deep Canyon Rd., Palm Desert, CA 92260
Phone: (760) 674-4790
   Fax: (760) 862-9130